I haven't written since summer 2011. I wish I would have continued writing as my kids say some of the cutest things and I know I can't remember them all! Today as I write, I have lying next to me my 9 day old little Isaiah. This make number 9 for us. I had my first home and water birth. It was such an amazing experience, but man it was painful and in the middle of it I wished I were at the hospital where I can change my mind at the last minute ask for medication or epidural. But....I am glad I was at home! My husband, Dustin, was in the pool with me and he delivered Isaiah with our midwife, Sherri Dress, couching him out side the pool. It was so special and spiritual. It really is amazing how our whole mind and body can spiritually shift when a precious new life enters into our family! Before he was born I was feeling distant from God, with a very hard heart (due to our extremely hard past year and all that happened in Alaska). My heart was hard and I was definitely questioning God himself. That scared me, I know Gods real, but my heart was so hard and I didn't feel God. I felt like my family was entirely abandoned by God. He has his reasons for everything, I will never understand them and I should never question them. Well, when we gave birth to Isaiah, there was no more questioning God. We felt the holy spirit through and through! The presence of the holy spirit was so strong you could cut it with a knife. It was one of those awwww moments that I remember in slow motion. Everyone's voice sounded like slow whispers. People around were blurs and my baby was the most beautiful site ever! We were so high just off life and the holy spirit. It was well worth all the pain I had to endure and It was just as amazing or more than everyone told me it would be.

Ashlyn, Shayla, Mika, Kiara, lil Dustin, and Jesse James all got to be there when we gave birth to little Isaiah. Three year old little Dustin was so excited about the new baby coming the last couple of months of the pregnancy. When we were giving birth, it was so fun to watch him and the rest of the kids watch in amazement with there glowing faces and their smiles from ear to ear. Little Dustin asks in his super exciting, high pitch voice,"Is that my baby?" and I say, "Yes, that's your baby brother", he says in an even higher voice, "YEA?" That lil Dustin is just so joyous and excited about, well, really about everything in life. Even small things and I am grateful to be blessed to have him as my son! When I gave birth to Isaiah and he was still under water Ashlyn picked up Jesse James to see the new baby and he frowned a little like he was worried. Ashlyn, and Shayla did very well with the birth experience. Kiara we though might be a little mortified but she was joyously happy to be there and to get to be part of it. She go to get the blanky for the baby after we brought him out of the water and handed it to the midwife. That made her feel very special! Mika, I think she did well, but she must have been pretty worried about me while I was in pain because I think Mika went and crawled in her bed at 7:00, just 45 minutes after I gave birth.

I am so glad I wasn't in the hospital! Did you know that the water is not suppose to be broken? When it is, it's like a punch in the face for the baby! The baby is suppose to be born in the sac then the water breaks as baby's head comes out and when it happens this way, the baby is protected from the vaginal bones and all the bruising. I just couldn't believe that I am just now learning this with my 9th baby. I just always did it the way the hospital told me and man I wish I would have known more earlier! But, now that I have learned so much more, I will never have anything other than a home/water birth!